Powerless

Don’t love unless you’re ready to have your heart broken

That’s what they tell you

Mostly they’re referring to romantic love when they say that, I think

Relationship

Love

A connection between two people, each desiring the full affection and acceptance and adoration of the other in a mutually exclusive and forever bond but both equally scared that perhaps the other is not all-in and unsure if they themselves are all-in

Those can be messy

And painful

When the other person decides he or she is no longer all-in

And removes himself or herself from your life (in that capacity)

And all that you hoped for and dreamed about is stripped away from you in an instant

And you are left with a hole inside of you

And you wonder if your heart will ever be the same again

That sucks

But it’s not just true in relationships

It is also the case in art

Don’t love something unless you’re willing to have your heart broken

Art is a funny thing

It makes deep connection points in your heart

Sometimes without your conscious knowledge

And when it occupies that special place and it lives up to your expectations

There is a thrill like being in love

Because this thing you have invested in is giving back to you

But when it doesn’t…

That sucks, too

You feel betrayed

And heartbroken

And maybe wished you had never bothered loving it in the first place

Art takes many different forms

You might be what people call a “sports fan”

I am

Sport is a form of art

And when you invest your heart and your time in a team and spend hours reading about it and getting to know its players and cheering for it and readjusting your busy schedule to watch it

And it loses

It hurts

Not only because the art did not meet your expectations and because you connected deeply with the disappointment of the players and of your fellow fans

But also because of the knowledge that there is virtually nothing you can do to affect the outcome of the contest

Your happiness is in the hands or at the feet or coming off the bat of another human being

Beautiful and talented

But flawed as you are

And sometimes, if you care, it will lead to pain

The same caring which allows you to feel the joy of victory inevitably demands that you also suffer the bitterness of defeat

And if you’re in this for the long haul

You will suffer

Or perhaps you despise the sports fan and consume higher forms of art

You know, like Netflix

TV shows

Movies

Theater

Literature

Music

These, too, can provide disappointments and pain

When a character you have invested in and fallen in love with dies for no good reason or the writing takes an inexplicable and unexplainable turn that totally ruins the story and makes no sense

And you push the remaining season or hour or act or book or album away in disgust

Trying to pretend like you don’t care

Acting like the first five seasons or movies or acts or books or albums didn’t mean anything to you

When you know full well that they did

But now you feel stupid

Because the ending didn’t live up to your expectations

And the joy you expected to feel is turned to sorrow and regret instead

Disappointed by the person who created it

Beautiful and talented

But flawed as you are

That sucks, too

And you are left with clenched fists

Angry but with nowhere to turn

Because you cannot change the author’s or the director’s or the writer’s decision anymore than you can will the ball into the goal or over the wall

If you’re a total masochist you might decide to take it a step further

You might dream about playing for your favorite team

Or writing for your favorite show or franchise

Or acting opposite your childhood hero

Or singing with your childhood icon

You may, like Tolkien, desire to “assist in the effoliation and multiple enrichment of creation”

Creating your own stories and memories

Inspiring your own fans

You may, like Keating, desire to “contribute a verse” to the “powerful play” unfolding around you

Seizing the day

And going after your dreams

I have to warn you

That has the potential to suck, too

Because unfortunately, the world doesn’t stop while you create your masterpiece

Sometimes I wish it did

Your favorite tv show doesn’t wait for you to release its next season (not terribly good for ratings)

Your favorite movie franchise doesn’t wait for you to graduate from film school (not terribly good for business)

Your favorite fantasy world doesn’t wait for you to release its next novel (not terribly good for fans)

And while you are fine-tuning your voice or your writing or your swing or your footwork

You have to fight off the constant doubt

That maybe you just aren’t good enough

Or worse

That someone else will come along who does everything you do but better

Who had the same idea but wrote faster

Who had the same jump shot but jumps higher

Who had the same voice but is better-looking

And now what does the world need you for?

When art that you care about lets you down

It hurts

But when art that you want to be a part of lets you down

It hurts more

Because you believe in your heart

That you could have done it better

But nobody cares

And now no one will know about the verse you wanted to contribute

And even if the art is successful

That joy has been stolen from you as well

Because you weren’t a part of it

It wasn’t your story being told

It wasn’t your characters being loved

It wasn’t your dream being fulfilled

That sucks the most

Some may protest

Arguing that this is melodramatic

“It’s not a big deal!” they say

“What a first world problem!” they deride

“Don’t care so much!” they (quite uselessly) admonish

And to a certain extent they are right

If your sports team has the power to depress you

You need to take a break

If your favorite singer has the power to ruin your evening

Then you need to take a step back

If your favorite series has the power to rob you of your joy

Then you have to take responsibility of your own life and realize that no one can make you happy

There is such a thing as being too invested

And there is a time to let go and find a new dream

But don’t you dare tell me that it’s just a game

Or a book

Or a movie

Or a song

The time you spent at the ballpark or hunting or fishing with your dad as a kid was not just time spent in sports

The nights you stayed up reading Harry Potter until three in the morning were not just nights spent in literature

The tears you shed watching The LEGO Movie (or maybe that’s just me) were not tears shed just for cinema

The anthem you listened to every day driving to high school that got you through when you were lonely and depressed and unsure if you wanted to live anymore was not just a song

The content we consume is never just content

The art we appreciate is never just art

Because it is unavoidably and invariably tied to the memories and the experiences and the passions that we have

Good and bad

For art connects us to our hearts

And to other people

Beautiful and talented

But flawed as we are

So be reasonable and responsible

Don’t lose yourself in the art you create

Or the content you consume

Or the passions that you have

There is far more to you that the things you enjoy

The teams you support

And the shows that you watch

Sometimes it’s healthy to step back and disconnect for awhile

But don’t ever feel bad for caring

Like love, art can sometimes discourage us from trying again

If our hearts are broken enough times

We might want to give up on the dream

Or stuff the passion down deep inside

And give up on art

But you can’t

More of you will die in the not caring than it ever did in the caring

So even though the world will not stop for you to finish your masterpiece

You have a responsibility to finish it anyway

Because a world without art is meaningless and empty

“Poetry, beauty, romance, love…these are what we stay alive for”

And while you’re perfecting your swing or composing your song or stalking your prey

Don’t let the successes or failures of others get you down

Pursue art for art’s sake

Pursue beauty for beauty’s sake

Pursue excellence because that is who you are

And if only one person is touched by your art and becomes a better person because of it

Even if that person is you

Then you, through your art, have made the world a little bit better

And no matter what you might feel in your beautiful, talented, flawed, broken heart

I promise

You are not powerless.